The Dramione Encounters
by Kosei
Summary: My accumulation of Dramione oneshots. Rated M to be safe. Because life's too short not to indulge in the forbidden.
1. Watered Down

_AN: I'm not dead! -dodges rotten vegetable assault- Sorry guys, but my fanfiction depends heavily on what I'm fangirling at the moment. I'm doing my best, but the mental state required for my other fics just isn't around. So, I'm thinking the best thing for me to do is to start a series of one-shots for each of my fandoms. That way I'm not leaving you guys with a bunch of cliffhangers and unfinished stories. _

_So, my first series will be a Dramione one-shot series. _

_**Please note: **__After the fourth book I only read the new ones once, so chances are there will be facts that won't coincide with the books. I will state whether or not these are AU, non-HBP compatible, etc at the beginning of each one-shot._

_Now then, **I do not own Harry Potter or The Wizard of Oz. **Anyone who thinks I do, is in severe need of a reality check._

_Onward!_

Not compatible with around book 5 on.

Watered Down

By: Kosei-san

"What did you write for question 4?" Hermione asked Harry, desperation slowly leaking into her voice. They had just finished their last exam of their sixth year and, as she had every year before, Hermione was freaking out. They were about half way to the lake, intending to lie on the banks for a break.

Harry sighed and replied, "Calm down, Hermione. We all know you're going to get the highest mark in the class no matter _what_ you wrote." He looked her in the eye and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Besides, it's already over, so there's nothing that can be done now. We've all had a long week and what we all need right now is some R&R." He grinned, "So, either you lighten up, or I'm tossing you into the lake."

Ron nodded sagely, "And I'll help. You need to loosen up, 'Mione."

Hermione quirked an eyebrow and retorted, "Say that again the next time you need help with your homework."

Ron gulped and aptly shut up.

They reached the lake and dumped their bags to the side. Harry stretched out on the grass, arms cushioning his head. Ron flopped onto his stomach and promptly fell asleep, snoring loudly. Hermione chuckled under her breath and took off her robes, tie, shoes, and socks, leaving her in the simple uniform of a white blouse and grey skirt. Sitting on a ledge just over the lake, she dipped her feet over the edge and into the water, and then pulled a book from her bag. It'd been forever since she'd gotten to read one of her books from home, and she intended to take advantage of the free time before her post-exam panic set back in.

"Well, well, what have we here?" A sneering voice sounded to her right and Hermione almost cringed. Of course.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" she said, sighing and setting her book to the side. This was not how she'd wanted her afternoon to go.

Draco simply shrugged and smirked, nudging Ron with his toe, which got him absolutely no reaction.

Upon hearing the word 'Malfoy' Harry quickly sat up, any thoughts of a nap forgotten. "Get lost, Ferret." He growled.

Draco crossed his arms and sneered. "How rude, Pothead. I only wanted to come over and say 'hello'."

Hermione stood and set her hands on her hips. "Well, you've said it, now clear off."

Draco sneered and stepped forward, coming to stand much too close for Hermione's comfort. "That's awfully childish of you, Mudblood."

Inching backwards, Hermione scoffed. This was really getting old, and she wanted to read! She retorted, "**I'm** childish? Malfoy, you've been using the same insults since second year." She raised her hands in a panicked gesture and continued in a voice mocking his own, "Potheads and Mudbloods and Weasels, oh my!"

Actually getting the _Wizard of Oz_ reference, Harry let out a bark of laughter. _No need to step in for this_, he thought, _Hermione has it well in hand._

Furious and confused, Draco really wished he'd brought Crabbe and Goyle with him. Unfortunately, they were currently in the Great Hall stuffing their faces. For lack of anything better to do, Draco stepped forward again. "Think you're funny do you?" he growled, giving her his most deadly of glares.

Having indirectly seen a basilisk when she was twelve, Hermione was unimpressed. "A bit, yes."

Finally noticing that Hermione was dangerously close to the edge, Draco smirked and took a large step forward. Forgetting the ledge, Hermione stepped back. Her foot met air, and she fell with a splash, landing flat on her arse in the normally barely-over-knee-deep water that now reached her upper chest.

"Now **_that's_** funny." Draco smirked, stepping closer to the ledge to see the look on her face.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted, running to the edge to see if she was okay. When he spotted her, he froze.

"Ugh!" Hermione muttered. Her clothes were completely soaked through! Standing, Hermione was about to let loose her worse string of insults yet, when she saw both Harry and Draco looking rather pale. "What?" She looked over her shoulder to make sure there wasn't some kind of sea baddie waiting to eat her. Nothing. Turning to face the boys, she saw both still gaping at her. Now more then a bit peeved, she growled, "Either someone tells me what's so interesting, or I'm going to show you both exactly how good I am at learning curses by reading about them."

Draco just shook his head, turned tail, and ran like the devil himself was on his heels.

Pulling herself back onto dry ground, Hermione got her wand from her bag and performed a quick drying charm. Turning back to Harry, who seemed to have snapped out of whatever stupor he'd been in, she asked, "Well?"

Harry just shook his head and sat back down, putting both hands over his eyes as if to block out an image.

Hermione stared at him, shocked. Did she have seaweed in her hair or something? After checking and confirming that there wasn't anything horribly wrong with her appearance, Hermione shrugged and went back to her book.

Rom woke and looked up blearily, "What'd I miss?"

Hermione shrugged. "I have no idea."

Shrugging himself, Ron flopped back down and his snores resumed.

Back at the castle, within the safety of his deserted dormitory, Draco buried his face in his pillow and tried to dispel the mental image of a very wet Hermione Granger, wearing a very _**white**_ school shirt. A very _**wet**_ white school shirt.

_Well,_ he thought, _she was definitely right about one thing._

Hermione Granger was far from being 'childish.'


	2. Like Lily

**_AN:_** Alo! The mood has struck once again, my fellow dramione-ans! This is actually something I put together months ago, but just got to typing up. It's not direct dramione, but I enjoyed telling this one to my art club friends. As always, my writing is much funnier when heard rather than read, so I forgive me if it isn't as funny as I think.

**_Some answers before you ask:_** This is mostly cannon, taking place between the end of the war and the epilogue. Seeing as Harry, Ron, and Hermione, along with most of the other students, didn't exactly get the best of educations throughout seventh year, I figured they'd be repeating it once the school opened again under headmistress McGonagall.  So, this fic takes place during that hypothetical seventh year version 2.0. Draco has been pardoned for his actions due to extenuating circumstances, and has returned to school with the rest of them, though quite a few less Slytherin students.

The Dramione Encounters

Just like Lily

It was a peaceful day in Hogwarts castle and the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins had been given an unexpected period of free time. The day before, Neville had been having a particularly nerve-wracking day, and had ended up exploding his potion **_directly_ **onto the new Potions instructor. Said professor was currently still in the hospital wing, unconscious, as Madam Pomfrey desperately tried to figure out what kind of unconsciousness causing potion Neville could have concocted while botching an elixir for ingrown toe-nails. They had not been able to find a substitute, what with a bad flu going around, so they had the time to themselves.

Harry and Ron, along with a fair amount of their class, were taking this time to relax in the common room. While most were either studying in the library (Hermione), or taking the time to catch up on some overdue homework, Harry and Ron had decided to start up a game of non-wizarding chess in a secluded corner of the common room.

As Ron was still the better player of the two, he was taking the time he didn't need for planning to rant.

"I don't see why Hermione has to spend so much time in the library!" he started, and already Harry was partially tuning him out so he could think of a plan. "I mean, she's been the top of our class since first year, has never gotten anything but O's on assignments and tests, and even managed to get the top mark in Potions, even though Snape was pretty much LOOKING for something to dock points from!"

Harry shrugged and replied, "Well, you've got to look at it from her perspective, Ron. She's pretty much gotten nothing but trouble here between being friends with us and being Muggleborn. This is how Hermione is proving to everyone that she belongs in this world." He held up a hand to stop Ron's impending interruption. "I know it doesn't make sense to us, because we know what a great person she is, but there will always be people out there who won't accept her.  It actually kind of reminds me of my mom. I've heard stories, and it seems like she went through a lot of the same things."

Feeling antagonistic, Ron snorted, "Except Hermione hasn't got the hag sister from hell waiting at home."

Smirking, Harry replied, "Though she **_does_**have the frustrating childhood friend who can't seem to express his feelings, or even talk to her without causing an argument."

Ron gaped, wide eyed and open mouthed. "You did **_not_** just compare me to **_Snape_**."

Harry moved a pawn before retorting, "I never said anything about Snape, you made **_that_ **connection on your own." He grinned and leaned back in his chair.

Ron muttered, nonchalantly moving a rook to the left side of the board, "Guess that makes you James, then?"

Harry shuddered, "Heck no! I love Herms like a sister. Besides, in this case we'd be looking for someone who obviously likes her, but can't express it properly, so he ends up acting like a pompous jerk and pissing her off."

The game continued quietly for a few more moments as they tried to think of someone fitting that description. Had to know who to scare off, didn't they?

Suddenly, the door to the portrait hole opened and slammed closed, and in stalked Hermione, clutching her books so tightly that, were they air dependant creatures, they'd have been suffocated and dead within a minute.

Spotting them, Hermione stomped over and flopped into an open seat, whisper-screeching, "I am going to kill that pompous git, even if I have to go to Azkaban for it! I'll rip out every blonde hair from his head, transfigure it into a rope and strangle him!"

Harry and Ron shared a look, "Malfoy?" they asked in unison.

Hermione looked ready to throw her books across the room, "Of course, Malfoy! If I have to deal with that arse at all, at any time, for the next month, I'm going to murder the rotten little ferret!" With that, she gathered her books and held them to her torso, then clomped up the stairs, presumably to plot the murder of a certain blonde Slytherin.

For a full five minutes, neither of them said anything. Then, Harry broke the silence with a small chortle.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked, coming out of his internal fantasy of Hermione carrying out her 'kill the ferret' plan.

"Well," Harry said, still snickering slightly, "If you're Snape, then that'd mean you're gonna lose 'Lily' to the ferret!" As he pictured the outcome of such a union, Harry's laughter intensified. It was just so illogical! Hermione would hex Malfoy six ways from Sunday within a day!

Thinking Harry was laughing at him; Ron glared at the chessboard grumpily, then smirked. Picking up his queen, he set it two squares in front of Harry's king. "Yeah well, checkmate!" As Harry gaped in disbelief at having lost again, Ron continued. "And, I may be the Snape in this scenario, but at least **_I'm_** not **_Malfoy's baby_**!"

Suffice to say, Harry had been defeated more then just on the chessboard.


	3. Kindergarten Crush

Disclaimer: Okay, I can mention at least 10 things that show I don't own Harry Potter, and over half of them have to do with characters that died in the fifth, sixth, or seventh book. I'm sure you all know who I mean.

AN: This one isn't really set in any book in particular, though it's at least third year, what with the epic-punch-o-death reference. XD

There are few things in life that really get Hermione Granger riled up. A long line to the check-out at the library, Draco Malfoy, the mistreatment of house elves, Draco Malfoy, Ron's eating habits, Draco Malfoy, a five hour Quidditch debate between Harry, Ron, and Ginny in which she couldn't possibly participate, Voldemort, and, of course, Draco Malfoy. Draco. Bloody. Malfoy. And we're not talking general annoyance when it comes to the blonde quidditch player. Oh no, we're talking about dislike to the point that it brings out the worst in her. And by the 'worst,' we mean the Slytherin.

~***~***~

Honestly, Hermione thought, as the blonde git made his way across the lawn. As usual, he was flanked by Dumb and Dumbererer (Insert more 'ers' depending on how low their arms are hanging any particular day), and headed right for them. Harry and Ron had already noticed and were standing, moving in front of her almost instinctively as they stepped away from the tree they'd been sitting under.

"You know, Potter, you really should reconsider this little 'ménage à trois.' Who knows when Weasley might weasel the Mudblood away right from under your nose." He drawled. Crabbe and Goyle, realizing that Weasley and weasel sounded alike, and therefore what he'd said might be some kind of joke, chuckled to themselves.

Harry glared. "Hey, Malfoy, I realize the Slytherin house is practically a free-for-all harem, and thus this concept might be foreign to you, but it **is** possible for people to be friends without the 'benefits.'" He drawled right back, imitating the blonde's tone of voice.

Malfoy took what they could only assume was supposed to be a menacing step forward, glaring and shooting back. "Frankly, I think you should be the last person to question the morals of my house, Potter."

Hermione chimed in, "Oh? Where am I on the list? I should hate to have missed my turn. I had a speech planned." Ron and Harry laughed, seeing the pink tinge starting up in Malfoy's cheeks.

"Would you shut up, Mudblood?!" he barked, and for a moment Hermione actually felt the instinct to back away. However, she was sitting against a tree, so that passed quickly enough.

Harry and Ron quickly rushed to her defense, shouting expletives left and right, obviously close to pulling their wands, while Crabbe and Goyle cracked their knuckles.

Despite the slight sting of the racial slur, Hermione held her metaphorical ground, silently standing and stepping next to Harry and Ron. "You know what?" she called, taking another step and leveling him with one of her 'Let's hope you live up to my expectations' looks. "I've realized something, Malfoy."

Rolling his eyes, he drawled back, "Oh? And what would that be, Mudblood? My infinite superiority?"

Hermione scoffed and stepped closer, holding up a hand placatingly when Harry and Ron moved to follow. They did, knowing the glint in Hermione's eyes could only mean trouble. Seeing the challenge for what it was, Malfoy gestured for Crabbe and Goyle to back off. Slytherin and Gryffindor stood silently for a moment, facing off. For a while, Harry and Ron thought she might be about to punch him again, and gave an inner cheer.

"No," Hermione said, "I said 'realized,' not 'imagined.'" When she saw Malfoy's flush of anger deepen, she smiled inwardly and continued. "I've realized that my mother was right about you."

Now **that** threw him for a loop. She'd been telling her mother about him? Draco quirked a brow, not able to stop the slight smirk at the mental image of Granger bawling to some fellow bushy-haired muggle all summer. "Oh? Did she tell you to stop being a know-it-all so you'd annoy me less?"

Hermione laughed. Draco paused for a moment, realizing that he'd never actually heard that sound from her before. It was scornful and disbelieving, but it was a laugh none the less… And it was a bit creepy, given the circumstances.

"No," Hermione said, smiling victoriously. "She asked me a thing or two. Like, if you seemed to pick on me more then Harry or Ron. And even after I explained to her what the 'M' word meant, she just asked if you tended to call anyone else that."

Draco eyes narrowed warily. It was true, he supposed, usually his conflicts with Potter or Weasley would only be him throwing a snide remark, then everything after was simply to counter their retaliation. Granger, however, would just ignore him, which made him keep going until he'd run out of horrible things to say. And, come to think of it, he **didn't** call anyone else Mudblood. Hell, there were certainly enough of them in the school… Draco quickly composed himself. "The point to that being..?"

Hermione stepped forward again, until there were only a few feet between them. "Isn't it obvious Malfoy? You have what a muggle would call a 'kindergarten crush.' It's when a boy likes a girl, but he's intimidated by her and becomes desperate to get her attention any way he can. Usually this means pulling on her hair, and otherwise picking on her constantly." Here she gave a small smirk, "Especially when she tries to ignore him."

Suffice to say, everyone was silent: Harry and Ron in sheer horror at the thought of **Malfoy** lusting after their best friend, Crabbe and Goyle because that's what they were programmed for, and Draco had pretty much just stopped breathing, and may or may not have had a massive heart attack.

Her smirk widened, and Hermione stepped forward again. "Now, Malfoy, really, if you liked me all this time, you really should have just said so. Unfortunately, while I'm flattered, I just don't think it would work out." She patted his cheek and turned, sauntering back to the castle with a significantly more noticeable sway to her hips. She called over her shoulder, "Come see me after you've grown up!"

For several long moments, no one moved. Then, Harry looked at Ron, then at Malfoy, who was looking just a little dead, then back to Ron. "I think she killed him, Ron. He's not breathing."

Ron just shuddered as Crabbe and Goyle began the task of carrying a now** very** red Draco to the hospital wing. "I've said it before, Harry. The girl is scary. Brilliant, but _**scary**_."

When he finally came around several hours later, Draco looked around the deserted hospital wing, then up at the ceiling and shook his head, breathing, "What a woman!"


	4. Movie Night

AN: Just something I wrote over the Christmas break. Yes, I know the movie reference is probably cliché, but, like I said, it's something I wrote over the Christmas break. XD So it in no way attempts to take itself seriously.

Disclaimer: -____-0 I'm writing _**DRAMIONE**_ for Merlin's sake. Do you really think Harry Potter would have ended the way it did if_** I**_ owned it? Nut uh. No ownership of Harry Potter here.

~***~***~***~

It was official, Draco thought, Dumbledore had fully and completely lost it. And no one could even deny it, after reading the poster tacked to the main bulletin board.

**_Movie Night!_**

**_Earn extra credit marks for the class of your choice by showing school spirit and muggle awareness next Thursday! Great Hall doors open at 9pm for entrance, movie starts at 9:30. Admission is free, and snacks provided. Just sit back, watch the movie, and gain up to 10 points for whatever class assignment you wish._**

**_Movie selection to be announced upon arrival. Don't be late!_**

Muttering darkly to himself, Draco picked up the pace. It was already 9:25 and he wouldn't put it past the old coot to close the doors if people were late. If he didn't need those damned points for Herbology he wouldn't be in this mess.

For once not flanked by Crabbe and Goyle- he figured they hadn't realized what was going on, being unable to read and all- he quickly slipped into the Great Hall, and promptly blanched. The tables had all been pushed against the walls, and in their places innumerable couches and bean-bag chairs had been set up. He even thought he could see a rocking chair or two. Where the teacher's table usually rested, they'd set up a large screen, which was currently blank.

He quickly signed in on the roster posted by the door, no doubt charmed to make sure he didn't sign up then leave. Then, he realized he was alone. As in, the other Slytherins hadn't realized he'd lower himself to coming, and thus hadn't saved him a seat in a non-contaminated area. He marched down the haphazard rows, looking for an open spot.

"You mean neither of you know this story? Don't you two read? At all?!" he heard, and faintly felt a sense of impending doom coming on. He looked and , of course, the only available spot was a recliner next to the Golden Trio. Draco spent a few seconds making sure there were no other spots. Damn it. When he saw one of the Creevey brothers headed towards it, he quickly made his way over. No way in the hell was the Malfoy heir sitting on the floor.

He sat down stiffly, ignoring the obvious halt in conversation next to him. Honestly, he was just a notch too far under the proper level of misery to start something. He just wanted his points.

Of course, the blissful silence wasn't to last. "What the bloody hell are you doing here, Malfoy?" Ah, Weasel. Lovely. He glanced over, for once thankful Granger was next to him instead of the ones more likely to try to punch- Oh. Right. Never mind. Still, at least she would probably just ignore him. He snorted. Apparently she thought that getting the silent treatment from someone he despised would hurt him.

Looking forward, he replied, "Weasel, if you can find another available seat, please feel free to point it out. I'm just here for the-" He paused, then turned, quirking a brow. "Why the hell are you here Granger? You know, the teachers stop adding points on after you break 100."

She huffed, tossing her head slightly to level him with a decent glare. It would have been more effective with her old hair, he mused. Ever since that Lavender girl had taught her that 'quick curls' spell, which, of course, she'd mastered, you just couldn't take her seriously. Not that he ever had, of course.

"I'm here because I organized it." She bit out.

Well, that explained a lot.

"Right." He said, turning to face the screen again. If he tried hard enough, he was sure he could block them out. He'd been doing it for a good 6 years, damn it, why wasn't it working?!

The doors closed promptly at 9:30, and Draco snorted to himself. Called it.

The candles dimmed, and the screen came to life as the movie started. His mother had tried to sneak him to a movie theatre once when he was little, so he was one of the few who didn't gasp and mutter to themselves about what kind of magic it was. A banner briefly flickered, reading 'Beauty and the Beast.' Draco quirked a brow, wondering if this was one of those 'horror' movies.

There was some sort of prologue, in which some prince was cursed to be a monster because he refused to let some beggar woman/enchantress-in-disguise stay in his castle. Draco's brow furrowed. That was hardly fair. I mean, not taking into account what century this was set in, a rose was **not** worth room and board for a night, not to mention the filth the beggar would have tracked all over the place.

Apparently deciding it was his turn to make a witty remark, Weasel piped up, "Huh, sounds like how Malfoy'll probably end up."

Granger immediately rounded on him, hissing, "Don't even say that Ronald, or I swear I'll make your slug incident look like a vacation."

There was a moment of stillness, in which the other two thirds of the Golden Trio, plus one Malfoy, looked at her in shock.

She blushed and slumped in her seat under the attention. "You'll see why by the end of the movie."

Draco simply shrugged to himself. If the Mudblood wanted to defend him, it was her problem, so long as she didn't expect him to appreciate it or return the favor.

The scene switched to some girl, and within moments Draco was beginning to see why Granger didn't like the characterization. As soon as the screen girl's love of books was mentioned, Potter piped up. "Sounds like you, Mione." he chuckled, stopping when she saw her horror-struck expression.

"Do –none- of you know this story?!" She hisses, burying her face in her hands. For a moment, Draco thought he saw a blush, but dismissed it because of poor lighting.

Still, he now had a fairly good idea of why she was freaking out. They wouldn't have started the story by introducing those two characters unless they were the **main** characters. Then, bringing into account the title… Draco shuddered. Just think about the points, he reminded himself. The points.

When the burly man and the buffoon were introduced, Draco couldn't help a smirk. "Looks like we found Potter and Weasley." He said unthinkingly, and looked over to see Granger looking between him and her friend with an expression of utmost horror.

"Okay, seriously!" She hissed, obviously trying to keep her voice down. "Would the three of you stop commenting before knowing the actual story?!"

Draco shrugged. "What's not to know? It's called 'Beauty and the Beast,' and the first two characters introduced were a prince-turned-**Beast**, and girl whose name apparently means **Beauty**." He gave them a condescending sneer. "Don't worry, Granger, I'm not going to suddenly change my entire personality, stop hating the three of you, and propose."

The girl promptly blushed several shades of red, and crossed her arms with a huff. "Good, because I'm sure you need every tiny little ounce of pride you have left, and I'd so hate to break your shriveled little heart when I would turn you down flat."

Draco let out a bark of laughter and pointed back to the screen. "Ah ah, you turn **Potter** down flat, see? We haven't even met yet."

"Well, seeing as I actually know the story, I assure you, I turn you down flat too." She said, and turned to face the movie again. Potter and Weasley were obviously still trying to keep up. Draco made a brief gesture, indicating that closing their mouths would be in their best interests and turned to the movie again.

Time passed, and the dinner incident came and went. "That doesn't count!" Draco muttered. "You turned down dinner out of spite of the situation **you** put yourself in."

Granger turned to him incredulously. "I realize we were doing it before, but why are you still referring to us as if we were actually the characters?" she asked.

…

That was a very good question. He turned back to the progressively cliché movie silently, not giving her a response.

Honestly, he didn't have one.

The movie passed much more quickly then he thought it would, and as soon as the credits were rolling, he made himself scarce. Potter and Weasley had probably figured out the little parallel spoof he and Granger had started up, and he really didn't need the confrontation that would no doubt ensue.

All that he cared about was that he'd gotten his extra points, and that he could now get to work on forgetting the evening had even happened.

However, a few weeks later, another sign had been posted.

**_Attention all Movie Night goers!_**

**_Due to the popularity of last week's Movie Night, we have decided to make it a monthly occurrence. It has been negotiated with the professors that bonus marks will only be applied to homework assignments. It is your responsibility to tell your teacher that you've gone, which they will cross reference with the attendance list. If you do not tell them you went, they are not responsible to give you the marks as of the next Movie Night._**

**_Same time and place on the 15th, and the movie will again be announced when it starts._**

**_See you there, and don't be late!_**

Repressing a groan, Draco looked down at the Charms homework we was currently botching all to hell and sighed. "How in the name of Merlin did she even get past the 'no electronic devices' rule?!" he muttered to himself, crossing out another failed paragraph. "Okay, you know what?" Another sentence took form, and then was promptly scratched out. "Next time, I'm bringing my own bloody chair!"


End file.
